Keeping It Real in Abu Dhabi

I have been here, in the Middle East for two weeks tomorrow and this is my first entry since I set foot on Middle Eastern soil.  I started writing a different blog entry last week, but I couldn't quite find the words to sum up the experience, as it was changing daily.  I wanted my entry to be insightful and positive. I wanted to tell of all the wonderful things that had happened to me thus far.  I wanted to give everyone something to "oooh and awww" about.  I wanted to paint a picture, but unlike Hollywood, I am not in the business of glamorizing people and places falsely and so, I will merely do what I do best, and that is, tell the truth or as they say where I'm from, "keep it real".

In keeping it real, I will tell you that Abu Dhabi wasn't everything I expected.  I was told that it was a highly religious place, and it is.  The "call to prayer" can faintly be heard five times a day.  However, I have been out on several occasions during this time of praise, and I have yet to see a person stop what they're doing to go and pray.  I was also told that all women must dress modestly, and although all of the local Emirate women dress in the traditional abayas, most women can be found in the same dress attire that you would see in Any Place U.S.A; jeans, t-shirts, shorts, tank tops, short dresses, you name it.


I will also tell you that all of the women, including myself, must dress modestly when going to work; a long skirt, with a mid or long sleeve shirt to the elbow is the appropriate dress.   As well, pants are also acceptable at some of the schools, including mine.  That is a relief, because I was told that I would have to wear a long dress or skirt daily, which is difficult to do when you're working with kindergarten students and getting up and down every few minutes.  It was not something I was looking forward to doing.

Anyway, one of the most troublesome things for me, is that PDA (public displays of affection), is not acceptable between people of the opposite sex.  I can hold hands, but I can't kiss on the cheek, hug, or otherwise make physical contact with anyone of the opposite sex, in public, even if it were my husband.  This act could actually land you in jail, but especially, if it's not your spouse!  However, people of the same sex are allowed to hold hands, kiss and hug one another and touch each other without it being a crime.  You will often see men hugging one another, holding hands and sometimes even kissing.  It is a very strange sight to see, even for me, who came from "Boys Town" on the north side of Chicago.  So, being the touchy, feely, flirty person that I am, I am learning to adjust such behaviors very quickly.

As for the job that I was sent here to do; the government of Abu Dhabi realizes that oil will not last forever and they are looking to invest in their people as a tremendous resource for the future.  That is why myself, along with several hundred of other native English speaking teachers from the US, Canada and South Africa were hired to carry out their ten year education initiative.  So far, it has been a great challenge.  We as licensed teachers were hired to "help" the local teachers.  It is a daunting task, as many of them do not understand English fully and are not accustomed to working as long or as hard as we are in the states.  Therefore, much of the work falls back on us, including the discipline, which is hard when you're students don't understand a thing you're saying.

In the classroom, none of the children speak English and there is a huge language barrier.  The students overall, are like most students; some very eager to learn, some not.  The things we are accustomed to in American schooling, is unfamiliar to them.  Many of them run out of the classrooms, hit each other, kick and bite teachers who are otherwise trying to help them and some mock their teachers in their face.  I will not lie; this year will be a challenge for many of us.  The job ahead is not easy, but it is necessary and I know that many will complete the task, but some may not.

Everyday brings a new challenge.  If you asked me last week, I was all over the place, thinking that I was ready to thrown in the towel, as a few of the licensed teachers have already done so, but I attempt to stay positive and I remember, "as a man thinketh, so is he".  I also remember that my thoughts don't control me, but it is I who control them.  I am optimistic that it will get better day by day.  I have had greater challenges and I've risen to the occasion.  This one is much different, but not impossible.  I know what I'm made of and I know that I can't let a bunch of kicking, biting, screaming kindergartners run me back home to the states.  In fact, if I did decide to leave, it would more than likely be because I miss the change of seasons.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Until next time...peace and blessings!

The Unexpected

My grandmother, who is 85 years old, is quick to say that there isn't much that surprises her anymore.  She has lived through the Great Depression, an abusive first marriage and a less than satisfactory second.  She has also witnessed the mental breakdown of her eldest son, suffered through the drug addiction of the other two and then, the eventual overdose of the youngest.  These are the heartbreaking side roads of her journey, which might have caused most to stumble, fall and never recover, but yet, she has regained her strength and dignity time and time again and stepped back graciously onto the cobblestone road that has sometimes marked her voyage.

Not much surprises my grandmother, because she has in a few words, "seen it all".  I too, have seen much, but there are still surprises that stumble across my pathway every now and then.  For instance, I lived in New York City when terrorist devastated the lives of Americans all over the world on September 11th, infusing fear and distrust in so many.  I also lived in Chicago, IL and celebrated at the Hilton Hotel on Michigan Avenue when presidential candidate Barak Obama became the 44th president of the Free World, the first African-American president, and gave an acceptance speech to a crowd of hundreds of thousands, directly across the street at Grant Park.

On the other hand, there are things that should surprise me, but don't.  Namely, while driving down the street yesterday, I saw an individual sporting atop his head, what appeared to be a baby's diaper.  With a second glance, to affirm the ridiculousness of the situation, I was easily able to see what was indeed, a "grown man" of or around the age of 25, with a baby's diaper firmly placed over his head.  I should have been surprised, but I wasn't, because so many people are just dying for attention, no matter how it comes.

On the flip side, I was completely surprised when my grandmother visited with me last year and as always she had me to carry her off to the casino in nearby, Joliet.  There we were, passing through, when we spotted what appeared to be a makeshift dance floor, with a DJ.  Suddenly the song, Cupid Shuffle lit up the speakers and my grandmother, along with a small camp of a few young and several elderly white women, began to break into the familiar line dance that accompanies this song.  They had more rhythm than The Temptations.  It looked as though I was watching my cousins and aunties from back home, as I stood on the sideline in utter disbelief!  Thinking, "when did white girls learn to dance like that?!"  Even I didn't know how to do it, but after that day, I was determined to learn!

I say all this to say, it has come as a surprise, the individuals who have shed tears in response to my leaving and equally so, those who have not.  My girlfriend in Cali was the first known crier and even though we don't speak everyday and probably see each other every few years, she said that it saddened her, because she always thought of me as just a plane ride away.  Or, how about my girlfriend Mary, who said as only a true New Yorker can through snot and tears, "you're one fearless mother bleep".  And, I can't forget my mother, who's as hard as nails on the outside, but soft like crème fraiche on the inner; who decided to come to Chicago to surprise me on the day of my farewell party.  What a surprise it was to see her, my sister and my cousin, as they barged into my apartment, only hours before the party was to begin and at the end of our visit, my mother cried like a baby in my arms.


Tears and warm wishes have come from some of the least likely places.  On the first day of school, I was nervous to tell my old students that I would be leaving this year.  Afraid of how disappointed they would be.  Sure that they would cry or be angry or all of the above.  Upon walking into the cafeteria that morning, I was greeted with smiles and hugs and, "good morning Ms. Holmes."  As I reached the center of the cafeteria, a young man approached me, whom I had spoken to a million times last year, but whose name I did not know.  He said, "Ms. Holmes, I was looking at my schedule and I was wondering why I didn't see your name on it?"  I paused, took a deep breath and smiled.  "Well, I won't be your teacher, because I am going overseas to teach."  Before I could say another word, tears began to fall, he lowered his head and said to me, "I was hoping to be in your class this year".  


I...felt...like...a hill.  How could I do this to this boy who went out of his way to greet me with a genuine, "hello" each time he saw me?  A boy who said to me nearly everyday towards the end of school year, "I'm going to be in your class for 7th grade"!  A boy whose name I did not know, but yet and still, I think I had managed to make an impact and leave an impression.  I must have, because 7th grade boys didn't cry in he middle of the school cafeteria over teachers!  It was an oxymoron.  Anyway, we sat at a nearby table and through his tears, he began to tell me how much he enjoyed the summer reading I had assigned.  I sat there totally astonished by this exchange.  He talked, I held his hand and I listened.  Thinking, life is full of so many surprises; some good, some bad and some, totally unexpected.