Bleeding for America

Before venturing off to the Middle East, I had a lot of opinions about people from different religious and cultural backgrounds.  Growing up a poor, black woman in America helped to shape those beliefs; good or bad.  It is said, you don't see the world as it is, you see the world as you are and before coming to Abu Dhabi, I may have believed that most white Americans didn't have respect, understanding or appreciation for many black Americans.  My world as it was, was simply black and white, as is everything in America.

Having now lived abroad and experienced people from all over the world, literally, I can say that I no longer feel like a black woman, living in a white mans world, but instead, I feel like a human being and while most people here don't believe that there are black people in the US (that's another conversation), I am proud to be referred to as simply, an American.

All my life I have exchanged descriptions related to race, but it feels so empowering to finally exchange descriptions based on lineage.  I know that my roots date back farther than my ancestors arrival to North America, but all I know and all I've ever known is America and for that, I am grateful.

It is a great time to be in the UAE.  I have been here through some of the greatest revolts of our time across Africa and the Middle East, through the capturing and execution of Osama bin Laden, the 10 year anniversary of 911 and the presidential tenure of Barak Obama.  One might think that I have experienced backlash from the Islamic community and while some people may not agree with the U.S.'s politics or policies, they have shown me nothing but love, from my Iraqi doctor to my Pakistani taxi drivers, they all speak highly of Obama and the country I call home.

Indeed, it has been exciting times and trying times, but no matter what, I have always felt safe, respected and sometimes envied by those whom most Americans would think were our enemies.  It has been anything but hostile here and for the first time as a black woman, I feel empowered, not as a black woman, but as an American woman.  I finally feel as though my ancestors blood, sweat and tears were not in vain and that I am living my American dream; free to be me, free to be free.

Until Next Time...Peace & Blessings

Terre

What Americans Can Stand to Learn from Egypt

My friends and I had dinner last night at Il Forno, an Italian eatery near my apartment.  This was our second visit.  The first of which happened about 3 weeks ago, while the upheaval in Egypt was taking place.  During our initial visit, we found our  Egyptian waiter to be very friendly and accommodating.  He was even more so when he discovered we were American.

He, a young Egyptian man, was very proud of the citizens in his country who stood up to a political regime that had ruled for 30 years.  He talked about President Obama and how the President had been a bit shifty in whether or not Mubarak should finish his term or step down immediately and while he did not like our politics, he loved our country and what he believed it stood for.

So, when we returned on yesterday, he eagerly made his way to our table to greet us with smiles and warm words.  However, his smile this time, was much brighter than before.  He smiled as though he had no other choice.  It was almost contagious and it didn't take us long to discover why.  He was proud of those who had protested and stood up for their beliefs.  He was proud of his country, but more discernible than not, he was proud to be Egyptian.

I too felt proud with him.  Since the beginning of this revolt, I have firmly stood behind the Egyptian people and their quest for dignity, respect and reform.  Figuring that if even one person believes in the fight, then he must fight, even if he fights alone.  The Egyptian people remind me of my African-American sisters and brothers back home who face high rates of homelessness, joblessness and poverty.  The only difference is that the Egyptian people were sick and tired of being sick and tired, while my sisters and brothers back home sit on a nail that still doesn't hurt bad enough for them to get up.


Although I am proud to be American and wouldn't want to be anything else, I must say that I am not very proud of the discrimination and the unjust treatment of African-Americans in my country.  Equally so, I am not always proud of how content African-Americans have become even when there is substantial proof that they are worse off than Non-Hispanics, Whites, Asians and  Hispanics in areas of income, homelessness, education and over all poverty.

According to the 2008 and 2009 US Census, the median income of Blacks fell below that of all other ethnic groups and between 2008 and 2009 the real median household income declined for non-Hispanic Whites and Blacks, while the poverty rate increased for non-Hispanic Whites, Blacks and Hispanics.  In addition, the uninsured rate and number of uninsured increased for non-Hispanic Whites, Blacks, and Hispanics.


When you couple these statistics with drug infested neighborhoods, ill-equipped and dilapidated schools, as well as police brutality towards Black men and teens, I believe that it's long overdue that African-Americans stand up for their families and their communities.  It's time for Black men and women to take back their streets so that their children can play on the sidewalks that they pay taxes for.   It's time for African-Americans to take back the schools that gangs and drug dealers have declared as their own.  It's time for Black people to stop begging for jobs and waiting in lines for hand outs and to create opportunities for themselves as they once did after slavery, during the Reconstruction Era, as well as the Civil Rights Movement.  It's time to stand up and be the fighting and resilient children and grandchildren of those Civil Rights leaders that came before them.

Surprise, but the fight is not over and the only thing that has changed is the enemy.  Our government is not our enemy.  Sure, they have created conditions that don't fully contribute to the uplifting of Black people, but Black people have also done the same things to themselves.  When teenage delinquents and drug dealers run your communities it's time for a revolt.  When there are high bouts of violence and low rates in graduation and academic achievement, it is time for a revolt.  When there are liquor stores on every corner, but no libraries, conveience stores or gas stations, then it's time for a revolt.  What will it take for African-Americans to realize that their complacency has become the new enemy?

I truly believe that across America, African-Americans need to become more conscientious of the conditions that are contributing to the demise of the race.  Yes, the government has and continues to play a role, but the truth of the matter is, no one will care more for you than you.  No one loves your children the way that you do and no one will be more concerned about you and your families well-being than you should be.  Are we sick and tired yet, or do things need to get worse before they can get better?


The time has come and gone for us to hold our politicians accountable and to ensure that they serve the people, but the time has also run out for us to hold ourselves accountable.  The difference between the Egyptians and the African-Americans in the US, is that the Egyptians knew that they weren't getting what they deserved and they demanded more.  We don't know that we deserve more.  As long as we have our degrees, our house notes, our car notes and a little money in the bank, then we believe that we have arrived, but as King said, "injustice anywhere, is a threat to justice everywhere".

 

The conditions of Black folks in the US is unjust and on some levels inhumane.  We saw it during the Civil Rights Movement and it repeated itself with Rodney King in 1992.  It happened yet again with the Crown Heights uprise of 1991 and with Amadou Diallo in 1999 and with Hurricane Katrina in 2005, but if these events don't prove that it's time for change, then go to the US Census for any given year and read for yourself.

Afterall, the numbers don't lie, even when the people are so comfortable in their discomfort and pretending that the conditions of their sisters and brothers don't effect them or their bottom line.  However, the last time I checked, CEO's and high school dropouts stood in the same unemployment lines.

Why Abu Dhabi Won't See An Uprising Like Egypt Any Time Soon

My father calls, "did you here about that mess in Egypt?"  "Yes I did", I respond.  "How far is that from you?"  I am eating, somewhat busy, but I know that it isn't cool to ignore Poppas' calls.  Irritated, I reply, "about a 3-4 hour plane ride."  Not satisfied with my answer he goes on, "I have a map right here.  Now, where are you?"  He says, "I see Saudi Arabia and Oman".  I say, "great, we're far right.  Right by Saudi and Oman."   Still unable to find it, he slowly starts repeating what I've said, "Ok, right next to Saudi Arabia and Oman."  Hoping to speed up the process, I say "YES", but still there is no luck.  Perhaps, because he is tired and therefore, unable to think clearly.  Frustrated, I say to him, "call me when you're fully awake so that I can explain.  He agrees and reluctantly disengages the phone.

I feel bad, thinking, how worried I would be if someone I loved seemed to be so far away and yet close to so much chaos and drama.  I am frustrated with the call, but I am certain that my frustration does not compare to his at this time.  He is worried about me, as a father should be, but he is not the only one.  Over the past few weeks, I have received numerous calls and e-mails of concern; people wondering, "is everything ok over there?"

To ease the fears and concerns of my friends and family, I decided to write about why I believe there is no cause for alarm surrounding a similar uprising in the UAE.  What has happened in Tunisia and what is occurring in Egypt are problems of a strong handed government.  A government, I am told has neglected its' people.  A government that has allowed it's people to go jobless, homeless and to ultimately  become, hopeless, but that is not the case in the UAE.  At least, not for now.  The Emirates are happy here.  They have everything that the rest of the world is working so hard to acquire.  They have it all, handed to them for free.

In the UAE, housing, education, medical and a monthly salary is provided for its' citizens.  The best jobs are given first to the Emirates, even without a formal education.  If they choose to graduate from high school and go on to college, the government foots the entire bill and even continues to pay them their full salary while they are studying.  They even encourage them to study abroad and if their spouse goes with them, the spouse is allowed to take a leave of absence from work, if they work, and still receive full pay.  If they don't work, they continue receiving a "salary" similar to our welfare system in the U.S., but the amount of money doesn't even compare.

The nationals here in the UAE want for nothing.  Their government has and continues to provide for them quite well.  The only problem is the fact that the government realizes that their oil money won't last forever and they are eagerly encouraging the Emirates to pursue higher education.  The nationals are slow to take heed and because of that, the future of this great and wealthy company could be reversed in a matter of a few decades.


As for now, the people are well taken care of and that alone, will prevent a similar situation from happening in the UAE as it has happened in Tunisia and now Egypt.  The nationals are too content to complain about their "good" thing.  Besides we all wish we had what they have, without the bureaucracy, control and lack of freedom that comes along with a socialist society.  Who wouldn't want free health care, free education, a tax-free, unearned salary and free housing.  While it does sound good, I have learned, even free comes with a hefty price tag.

The Problem With Religion

Now that I have your attention, I want to share with you what I believe to be the problem with religion.    This is not to condemn one group or another.  It is simply to point out the hypocrisy that exist, as  I see it; to shed some light on what I have been experiencing in this Islamic country over the past four months and what I know for sure about Christianity, having been born into, guilted by it and saved literally and figuratively, all in the same breath.  Looking at Christianity and Islam as a basis for this conversation is what I plan to do.  It is not a means to totally demarcate them, because they are more alike, I have found, than they are different.  I hope only to awaken some, to stir up others and to challenge my own ignorance and hypocrisy, along with that of my readers.

For me, I was indoctrinated into Christianity before I could say "mama".  My grandparents were Christians, their parents were Christians, my parents are Christian and all 60 plus of my cousins and extended family are Christian.  Except for maybe, one cousin who converted to Islam when he was in prison.  The truth is, if I have children, I will probably raise them to be Christian.  Not because I believe that it's the best religion on the planet, but because I am ignorant about other religions and Christianity is all I know and therein lies the first problem with religion.  We don't know a thing about the religion of others, yet we condemn them to know end, believing that if we are "right" as we think we are, then everyone else must be wrong.  We don't educate ourselves about the beliefs of others.  Perhaps, we're too afraid that through osmosis, their beliefs will rub off on us.  Or, perhaps too afraid of what we might discover.

The second problem with religion, as I have witnessed here in this Islamic country as well as in my predominantly Christian country, is that far too often, we hide behind religion, instead of standing behind it. What I mean is that we use religion to justify our foul behavior, our mistreatment of others and our intolerance of the world.  Christians believe that they are right and that Muslims are wrong and Muslims believe just the opposite and to that end, we will treat someone poorly based on their views, when we should be leaving the judging to our Creator.

However, here is where I have to agree with the Muslims.  In Islam, they do not date.  They do not believe in sex before marriage and for the most part, I believe that they firmly stand behind that.  The Arabic teachers at my school where I teach, talk to me about their virginity and about the repercussions of having sex before marriage.  They tell me that if a man finds out that they have been with another, they will be out casted; unable to marry and in their eyes, marriage, children and family is one which in which they serve their God.  Here in the UAE, you rarely meet unmarried Muslim women over 30.  Marriage and family is a duty to them.

Now, I'm not agreeing wholeheartedly with this and this goes back to my earlier statement about the guilt that I experienced in Christianity as a confused child growing up.  I was taught to believe that all of my thoughts pertaining to sex were wrong and that I was going to hell if I looked at a boy!  Now, I will admit that I grew up with one foot in the church and one foot out, but nonetheless, I knew other devout Christians who grappled with what it meant to be single in the Christian religion and there are still more women than man in the faith who are unwed, because they're waiting on the "right" Christian man to come along.

Invariably, I have learned that in Islam, they realize that there is lust, wants and desires and so, instead of tempting the flesh, they marry quickly and they typically marry much younger than us Christians.  One problem is that with youth, can come immaturity, but with age can come stubbornness and as we too often see, "baggage".  I know countless unmarried Christian men and women who go to church every Sunday; know every bible verse; contribute tithes and offerings on a weekly basis, but they are still grappling with sex and often times sexuality.  There is indeed a missing link between what we know in Christianity to be true about sex and marriage and what we tend to practice.  

I don't believe that the Muslims are perfect in this regard by no means, but, they seem to have a system in place for how they do what they do.  My question is, where is ours?  And, why are we struggling so ferociously with marriage and intimacy in the "Christian" religion?  I realize that maybe, I am only speaking to Americans and this may or may not apply to Christians in other countries, but all I am saying is that it wouldn't hurt to take a few cues from Islam on this one.  People judge Muslim's way of marrying, but what are we doing that's so much better?  In the African-American community, we have one of the highest rates of single parent households and black women are listed as the least likely to get married of all the people on the planet!

Lastly, I have seen Muslims and Christians alike, treat people like dirt, based on their material possessions.  If you're not Emirate, meaning rich and "affluent" then you're nothing, but it's not just he Emirates, the Egyptians have also shown me parts on them I would have never thought existed.  As well, in the UAE, I have been told of Emirate Muslims who beat their maids to  "break them in" and let them know who's boss.  I have nearly been run off the road by Emirate people driving like maniacs and upset that I won't move to the next lane when they're doing 90 and flashing their head lights on me to get over.  I have seen Muslim people abuse and batter their children in public, because their are no child abuse laws and I have watched Muslim men partake in alcohol and prostitution in a country that would stick me under the jail if I did the same.

There is hypocrisy everywhere and no, Muslims are not perfect, but neither are Christians.  However, hopefully, one day we will all start to realize how we are more alike than we are different.  Perhaps, that's the idealist in me and God knows I am working daily to understand my Arab sisters and brothers, whose faults often times override all of the so called "religion" I was told they had, upon coming to this country.  I am working hard not to judge them so harshly and to recognize that the same imperfect blood that runs through my veins, also runs through theirs.  Neither of us are perfect.  In fact, we're perfectly, imperfect.

"There's so much good in the worst of us 

And so much bad in the best of us 

That it ill behooves all of us 

To find anything wrong with the rest of us."

-author unknown 

Until Next Time...

Peace and Blessings,

Terre

Free

Living here in Abu Dhabi, I embrace the fact that as an American, I am truly free; free to love who I want, when I want and how I want.  Free to decide if he who stands before me is right for me or even "in it" for me.  Sure Americans can make love hard; high divorce rates, single unwed mothers and millions of "never-been-married with no children" men and women like myself, but at the end of the day, to love or not to love is all up to us.  How will you choose?  Today, I choose to love who's loving me.

~I found God in myself and I loved her.  I loved her fiercely.

from the staged play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

by Ntozake Shange

Until next time...Peace & Blessings,

Terre

You're Worth It!

Last week noted one of the many religious celebrations of the Muslim world; Eid Al-Adha is a holiday marking the end of the Hajj, the annual Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca which is one of the greatest religious observances in Islam.  In recognition, the entire UAE took off for nearly a week; no school, no government work, no, "business as usual".  I was so looking forward to this break, because I had planned to visit some part of Africa; Kenya or Cairo being at the top of my list.  Instead, at the last minute, a group of us decided to go to Amsterdam.  It was a world away from the rigid and imposing way of life we'd been faced with in the UAE.

However, my post really isn't about the holiday or what we did to celebrate, but it's about a cause for concern that continued to arise leading up to our decision to travel.  While we were planning to leave and travel to other countries or deciding what to do in general, there were so many conversations about money; the lack of money, the saving of money, the overall issue of money and while many of us are here for money, whether we care to admit it or not, the truth is, at the end of the day, you can't take it with you.


Some of us are making more than we've ever made, able to save three to four times more than we would in the states and yet, we still are worried about money.  I have begun to see, even for myself, that money is a mentality and whatever your mentality is around it, you will carry that with you, whether you have money or you don't.  It's especially evident when you grow up poor, as I did.  You develop a relationship around money that is influenced by fear and lack.  Both of which, are unhealthy.


Many of my colleagues, made the argument that they weren't traveling because they were here to save money and while that is respectable, it can also be limiting.  Here's the bottom line.  Three LT's (licensed teachers) were in serious car accidents, in which I believe, one had to return back to the states.  It is rumored that two others were killed in car accidents last month.  Although, that has not been confirmed and while that is only the story here in the UAE, in my close circle this year, I have lost two uncles, a student and a friend of a friend.


It is my assessment that life is way to short not to enjoy it, even if that means spending a little money, while saving a little.  My uncles were in their 50's.  My friend was in his late twenties and my student was 14 and last week he was accidentally shot and killed by his 10 year old brother.  My point is simple, life is not guaranteed and besides that, living in the US makes it difficult and definitely impossible to get the time off to take long flights to places like Europe and Africa for the price you'd pay for a top of the line handbag and the time it would take you to do a road trip from Chicago to Cleveland.  My question is, if not now, then when?


The two reasons why I took the job involved money and travel.  Sure, I plan to save and invest some money, but I also plan to do what I wouldn't easily be able to do, living and working in the states.  So many people, will save tens of thousands of dollars here and they could very well return home and have to live off of the same money they took years to save, because they can't find a job.  Will they have anything else to show for the amount of time they spent overseas?  Will they have seen or done anything new?  Probably not.


You could very well be here and gone tomorrow, so why not do more than go to work, come home and pay off bills.  As I saw in Amsterdam, there is so much more to life.  What I loved most is that the people in Amsterdam seemed to consume small, but live large.  They had small cars and small flats. They rode bikes everywhere.  It was nothing to see a 60 or 70 year old man or woman riding their bike on the road.  
It was nothing to see a woman decked out in the latest fashions; fly and sassy, peddling a 3 speed, but it wasn't about their cars or the lack of; it was about looking fabulous and living fabulous!  Theaters, museums, biking, eating, walking and just enjoying the sweet nothings of everyday life seemed to be their mission.  Secretly, I was a bit envious.


However, had I not gone, I would never have had a chance to walk through the home of Anne Frank and her family; the house that they took shelter in before they were discovered, captured and taken to the Concentration Camps in Germany.  I would have never seen the original works of Van Gogh and had a chance to hear his story through his work and his journals.  These were unmeasurable experiences that even money couldn't buy and they touched me in ways that may not manifest in my life until years to come.


For me, it's not just about the money, it's about how I use the money to become a more knowledgeable person, a well-rounded person and an overall better human being.  Sure the bills are being paid off, but I'm enjoying my money as well.  I hate to say it, but before I left, I was considering purchasing a used luxury car, but upon my return I decided that I'd purchase a small used car.  Nothing fancy, just something to get around in.  I'd much rather use my money to travel, eat great food, purchase fine art and see how people are doing it in their neck of the woods.  Sure I spent more money than I planned, but as my new friend and colleague Martha said to me, " you're worth it" and I guess if I'm worth it, then so are you.


Until next time...


Peace and blessings,


Terre

Amsterdam, November 16, 2010

No Strings Attached

Do you ever find yourself cruising through life on auto-pilot; making decisions and creating circumstances for yourself, but never really taking the time to reflect on the reasons, the motivation or the aftermath of such actions?  Most people journey through life oblivious of the fact that they keep making the same destructive decisions over and over again; oblivious to the fact that the reason why nothing in their life ever changes, is because they are not willing to change and thus, their lives become a vicious cycle of insanity, which is basically, doing the same thing, but expecting a different result.

Just the other day, I was having a conversation with a friend.  She was telling me about a gentleman she knows, who's been married a few times and how each time his marriages failed, because as she put it, "he never does anything free and clear."  I was puzzled at first and I thought, 'free and clear'?  What could that mean?  She went on to explain to me that there was always a catch.  For instance, he married one woman because she was pregnant, he married another because of the financial security she provided.  This man had never had a relationship where there were no strings attached; where he chose based on his own free will to love and marry someone, just because.  I thought, how empowering it is for someone to come to that realization, if only, he had been the one to come to that realization. 

Can you imagine, how drastically your life could change if you were able to see that ultimately, there's a barrier which prevents you from making decisions based on your own free will and that if you wanted, you could change your life, just by changing how you made decisions.  This was indeed, powerful information, but the problem was, this was her observation of him and not his own observation of himself.  Therefore, his life would probably never change, because he's on auto-pilot, moving swiftly through life, like so many of us, never taking the time to just process the why, behind the choice, but instead, allowing the choice, to have dominion over him, instead of him having dominion over it.

I thought about my decisions and my own relationships and I must admit, there were a few strings attached, a time or two.  There were times when unbeknownst to me, I chose people or circumstances based on a multitude of things that were not in alignment with my truest desires and wouldn't you know, they never worked out!

There are studies to suggest that women think more than men; that we over analyze everything, as I have been accused of doing in the past.  However, consider this for a moment.  Consider yourself a Fortune 500 company.  Every Fortune 500 has regular meetings and check-ins to see what's working, what's not and how to tweak it to maximize the company's output.  Aren't you worthy of a few check-ins?  Besides, if you're not getting better in life, you're just getting older; nothing's changing, no growth is taking place. You're simply existing.  

Why not do more than just exist?  Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday and I guarantee, tomorrow will seem like a breeze.  Make one major decision with no strings attached and relish in the results.  You just might find that your relationships improve, you take more risk and you ultimately enjoy life in a way that you've never experienced it before.  

I won't deny, it can sometimes be easier to make a decision when strings are attached, to say to yourself, "I guess I'll marry him because I'm running out of options", but easy isn't always best.  Albeit, there are strings attached to some things and there's nothing we can do about it; it just is what it is.  However, when given the opportunity, why not cut the strings and experience being truly happy for a change?  Make the decision because it's what you want; nothing more, nothing less.  You're worth it.  Aren't you?

Another Perspective

Wednesday was a day off for the LT's (licensed teachers) who were required to get their medical checks at a local clinic.  The van left the hotel at 7:30am and like migrant workers, we were packed on and shipped off to have chest x-rays and blood collected in order to be tested for communicable diseases and illnesses, before we could be issued our work visas.  Everyone who had not had their medical exams were eagerly awaiting this moment, because after we receive our medical clearance, our passports are returned to us and we are able to finally travel out of the country and that is what so many of us are looking forward to the most.  

When we arrived at the clinic, we took a number attached to a document which sported our names, a copy of our passport and other pertinent information.  We then waited for our number to appear on a screen, where we were to go to the window, hand them our documents and wait for the next step in the process.  Although, they didn't tell us this and therein lies the reason why I missed my number being called the first time.

When I finally looked up and realized that they weren't calling names, but expecting you to watch your number appear, they had already passed my number and were now on number 36!  I ran to the counter to explain to them that I was number 35, to which the girl behind the desk rolled her eyes and said something in Arabic to the guy who issued the numbers.  He then said to me, "you must watch for your number.  Here take this."  And he issued me number 55!  I was annoyed to say the least, but it gave me time to catch up with friends and I had made when I initially arrived three weeks ago.

The process took almost two hours.  It involved a lot of complaining from us about school, Abu Dhabi in general and the Education Council.  As well as, plenty of laughter at ourselves and at the fact that we were yelled at a number of times by a few guys from the Education Council who reprimanded us for talking too loud in a clinic and told us that we should "know better" as teachers.  That pissed me off and caused most to begin whispering, but I refused to whisper.  We weren't screaming, being unruly or anything of that nature and besides, who in the world packs 30-40 people in tight quarters, "especially teachers", and expects them not to talk AND expect that it won't get loud?  Who does that?

After a morning at the clinic, I needed to eat and enjoy a bit of early afternoon, "nothingness".   So, a friend and I enjoyed a tasty Caesar salad by the pool.  He then went to his room and I headed to the water, chatted with a few of the LT's  and enjoyed a superb day of rest and relaxation.  Thinking, "man, it's October back home and here I am sun bathing and floating in the pool on a Wednesday afternoon." I guess like everything in life, you gotta be willing to take the good with the bad and sometimes, this, ain't all that bad.

Until Next Time,

Terre

Keeping It Real in Abu Dhabi

I have been here, in the Middle East for two weeks tomorrow and this is my first entry since I set foot on Middle Eastern soil.  I started writing a different blog entry last week, but I couldn't quite find the words to sum up the experience, as it was changing daily.  I wanted my entry to be insightful and positive. I wanted to tell of all the wonderful things that had happened to me thus far.  I wanted to give everyone something to "oooh and awww" about.  I wanted to paint a picture, but unlike Hollywood, I am not in the business of glamorizing people and places falsely and so, I will merely do what I do best, and that is, tell the truth or as they say where I'm from, "keep it real".

In keeping it real, I will tell you that Abu Dhabi wasn't everything I expected.  I was told that it was a highly religious place, and it is.  The "call to prayer" can faintly be heard five times a day.  However, I have been out on several occasions during this time of praise, and I have yet to see a person stop what they're doing to go and pray.  I was also told that all women must dress modestly, and although all of the local Emirate women dress in the traditional abayas, most women can be found in the same dress attire that you would see in Any Place U.S.A; jeans, t-shirts, shorts, tank tops, short dresses, you name it.


I will also tell you that all of the women, including myself, must dress modestly when going to work; a long skirt, with a mid or long sleeve shirt to the elbow is the appropriate dress.   As well, pants are also acceptable at some of the schools, including mine.  That is a relief, because I was told that I would have to wear a long dress or skirt daily, which is difficult to do when you're working with kindergarten students and getting up and down every few minutes.  It was not something I was looking forward to doing.

Anyway, one of the most troublesome things for me, is that PDA (public displays of affection), is not acceptable between people of the opposite sex.  I can hold hands, but I can't kiss on the cheek, hug, or otherwise make physical contact with anyone of the opposite sex, in public, even if it were my husband.  This act could actually land you in jail, but especially, if it's not your spouse!  However, people of the same sex are allowed to hold hands, kiss and hug one another and touch each other without it being a crime.  You will often see men hugging one another, holding hands and sometimes even kissing.  It is a very strange sight to see, even for me, who came from "Boys Town" on the north side of Chicago.  So, being the touchy, feely, flirty person that I am, I am learning to adjust such behaviors very quickly.

As for the job that I was sent here to do; the government of Abu Dhabi realizes that oil will not last forever and they are looking to invest in their people as a tremendous resource for the future.  That is why myself, along with several hundred of other native English speaking teachers from the US, Canada and South Africa were hired to carry out their ten year education initiative.  So far, it has been a great challenge.  We as licensed teachers were hired to "help" the local teachers.  It is a daunting task, as many of them do not understand English fully and are not accustomed to working as long or as hard as we are in the states.  Therefore, much of the work falls back on us, including the discipline, which is hard when you're students don't understand a thing you're saying.

In the classroom, none of the children speak English and there is a huge language barrier.  The students overall, are like most students; some very eager to learn, some not.  The things we are accustomed to in American schooling, is unfamiliar to them.  Many of them run out of the classrooms, hit each other, kick and bite teachers who are otherwise trying to help them and some mock their teachers in their face.  I will not lie; this year will be a challenge for many of us.  The job ahead is not easy, but it is necessary and I know that many will complete the task, but some may not.

Everyday brings a new challenge.  If you asked me last week, I was all over the place, thinking that I was ready to thrown in the towel, as a few of the licensed teachers have already done so, but I attempt to stay positive and I remember, "as a man thinketh, so is he".  I also remember that my thoughts don't control me, but it is I who control them.  I am optimistic that it will get better day by day.  I have had greater challenges and I've risen to the occasion.  This one is much different, but not impossible.  I know what I'm made of and I know that I can't let a bunch of kicking, biting, screaming kindergartners run me back home to the states.  In fact, if I did decide to leave, it would more than likely be because I miss the change of seasons.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Until next time...peace and blessings!

The Unexpected

My grandmother, who is 85 years old, is quick to say that there isn't much that surprises her anymore.  She has lived through the Great Depression, an abusive first marriage and a less than satisfactory second.  She has also witnessed the mental breakdown of her eldest son, suffered through the drug addiction of the other two and then, the eventual overdose of the youngest.  These are the heartbreaking side roads of her journey, which might have caused most to stumble, fall and never recover, but yet, she has regained her strength and dignity time and time again and stepped back graciously onto the cobblestone road that has sometimes marked her voyage.

Not much surprises my grandmother, because she has in a few words, "seen it all".  I too, have seen much, but there are still surprises that stumble across my pathway every now and then.  For instance, I lived in New York City when terrorist devastated the lives of Americans all over the world on September 11th, infusing fear and distrust in so many.  I also lived in Chicago, IL and celebrated at the Hilton Hotel on Michigan Avenue when presidential candidate Barak Obama became the 44th president of the Free World, the first African-American president, and gave an acceptance speech to a crowd of hundreds of thousands, directly across the street at Grant Park.

On the other hand, there are things that should surprise me, but don't.  Namely, while driving down the street yesterday, I saw an individual sporting atop his head, what appeared to be a baby's diaper.  With a second glance, to affirm the ridiculousness of the situation, I was easily able to see what was indeed, a "grown man" of or around the age of 25, with a baby's diaper firmly placed over his head.  I should have been surprised, but I wasn't, because so many people are just dying for attention, no matter how it comes.

On the flip side, I was completely surprised when my grandmother visited with me last year and as always she had me to carry her off to the casino in nearby, Joliet.  There we were, passing through, when we spotted what appeared to be a makeshift dance floor, with a DJ.  Suddenly the song, Cupid Shuffle lit up the speakers and my grandmother, along with a small camp of a few young and several elderly white women, began to break into the familiar line dance that accompanies this song.  They had more rhythm than The Temptations.  It looked as though I was watching my cousins and aunties from back home, as I stood on the sideline in utter disbelief!  Thinking, "when did white girls learn to dance like that?!"  Even I didn't know how to do it, but after that day, I was determined to learn!

I say all this to say, it has come as a surprise, the individuals who have shed tears in response to my leaving and equally so, those who have not.  My girlfriend in Cali was the first known crier and even though we don't speak everyday and probably see each other every few years, she said that it saddened her, because she always thought of me as just a plane ride away.  Or, how about my girlfriend Mary, who said as only a true New Yorker can through snot and tears, "you're one fearless mother bleep".  And, I can't forget my mother, who's as hard as nails on the outside, but soft like crème fraiche on the inner; who decided to come to Chicago to surprise me on the day of my farewell party.  What a surprise it was to see her, my sister and my cousin, as they barged into my apartment, only hours before the party was to begin and at the end of our visit, my mother cried like a baby in my arms.


Tears and warm wishes have come from some of the least likely places.  On the first day of school, I was nervous to tell my old students that I would be leaving this year.  Afraid of how disappointed they would be.  Sure that they would cry or be angry or all of the above.  Upon walking into the cafeteria that morning, I was greeted with smiles and hugs and, "good morning Ms. Holmes."  As I reached the center of the cafeteria, a young man approached me, whom I had spoken to a million times last year, but whose name I did not know.  He said, "Ms. Holmes, I was looking at my schedule and I was wondering why I didn't see your name on it?"  I paused, took a deep breath and smiled.  "Well, I won't be your teacher, because I am going overseas to teach."  Before I could say another word, tears began to fall, he lowered his head and said to me, "I was hoping to be in your class this year".  


I...felt...like...a hill.  How could I do this to this boy who went out of his way to greet me with a genuine, "hello" each time he saw me?  A boy who said to me nearly everyday towards the end of school year, "I'm going to be in your class for 7th grade"!  A boy whose name I did not know, but yet and still, I think I had managed to make an impact and leave an impression.  I must have, because 7th grade boys didn't cry in he middle of the school cafeteria over teachers!  It was an oxymoron.  Anyway, we sat at a nearby table and through his tears, he began to tell me how much he enjoyed the summer reading I had assigned.  I sat there totally astonished by this exchange.  He talked, I held his hand and I listened.  Thinking, life is full of so many surprises; some good, some bad and some, totally unexpected.

Whatever You Believe, You're Right

I wrote this poem to offer words of encouragement to myself and hopefully, to you as well.

Whatever You Believe, You're Right


Anything and everything is possible for the person who believes
Yet, everything and anything is impossible for the person who believes not
If you believe you are the best, then you are
But equally so, if doubt is claimed and defeat is accepted
Then so it is

Life brings to you what you ask for and what you believe
So why not ask for great things and have belief in the impossible
The man who is defeated by his own thoughts, needs no enemies
And the man who is empowered by his, needs no fans

Whatever you believe that you will have, do, be, or see
You can bring it to pass
For thought, creates action and action creates life
There is no life without action and no action void of thought

Life brings to you, what you ask for, plan for and seek out
It does not surprise you with things that are so far out of the realm of your conscientiousness
And so when your prayer has been answered, your dreams have come to fruition
and your thoughts are made manifest
Remember, before it ever took its' first birth, it lived first, inside of you

written by Terre L. Holmes 8.31.10

The Tapestry of Life

Life is merely a series of experiences; a combination of those we choose to create for ourselves and the ones we allow others to design for us. At 36, I thought I would be in a different space. As for experiences, I often imagined I'd be well established in my career by now, traveling on a regular basis around the world and married with children, but if you asked me anything, I thought I knew the latter for sure. Though, as it turns out, I was wrong. Yet today, I don't choose to harp on what I don't have, but rather, what I do.

What I have are friends and family who support me in unmeasurable ways. I have a great job, teaching at a school that is well on its' way to becoming top in the nation. I have a high level of respect for my supervisors and I also have colleagues whom I admire and who inspire me to be a better person inside and outside of the classroom. They are smart, capable and full of passion for the children we serve and the work that we do. As well, I live in a city that is one of the most visited places in the US. There's never a shortage of things to do and we boast a skyline that is simply unbelievable! In a nut shell, I have everything I need and so much more.

So, why would a person who seemingly has everything, leave it all, sell most of her worldly possessions and pack up the rest, to venture off to a place like Abu Dhabi? It's simple, my life lacked luster. It was seasonless and most days were like putting regular old salt and pepper on everything and expecting to get the flavors found in your favorite African stew or Spanish empanada. I needed an experience that would shake up my world and challenge me to think differently, see the world through a new lens, and push me to expand beyond my own limitations.

A young man asked me the other day, "are you going there to find yourself?" and my answer was an emphatic, "no". I have found the best parts of myself in places like New York City, where I lived for 5 years, pursuing my dream to become an actress, attempting to live my life like the book I'd like to read; in places like Cleveland, where I fell in love and experienced intimacy on levels that no amount of words could describe; in places like Chicago, where I cried for Derrion Alberts and felt compassion and concern for children who were nameless to me and voiceless to others; children who travel daily through streets, infested with gangs and gun violence, to be able to sit in classrooms and feel safe and vulnerable and respected as human beings. I told him, "I found myself a long time ago". Now, I am on a journey to see what this self is made of.

A husband did not come, nor did children and for many years, I secretly waited for them both; thinking that if I made a move like this, they would never find me. How silly I was to think that God couldn't answer prayers in Chicago, Illinois, just as he could in Paris, France or even, Abu Dhabi. I was waiting to live, thinking that staying put made me seem more stable, more suitable for a mate and all the while I was becoming bored and discontent with this thing I called, "my life".  Thinking that there had to be more to it; more to see, more to do, more to write about.

I was talking to a friend today and I said to him that I probably wouldn't return home (to the States) after my two year commitment ended in Abu Dhabi and he replied, "home is where you live". Wiser words could not have been spoken. All these years I have allowed guilt, fear, other peoples' opinions of me, limitations and so much more to prevent me from moving forward in my destiny. I recalled the time that I sent for a pamphlet to work on a cruise ship, but allowed fear to immobilize me. I also remember living in New York in 2001 and secretly looking for jobs in Paris, while all the while thinking that I had to be crazy! I remember just this past January telling my girlfriend that I was thinking of volunteering abroad during my summer vacation next year. Unbeknownst to many, including myself, the seed was planted a long time ago, but I refused to water it; I guess, I was too afraid that it would blossom into everything I imagined it could be.

I have now released the idea of a husband and children and have begun to realize that life is full of experiences. A husband and children are an experience that many of my friends have, but the ability to pack it all up, move to a different country and decide to do this without having to convince someone else that it's a great decision for "us", is an experience that is uniquely mine. Sure, I would have liked to have shared this experience with a special someone, but that's not my story. My story is simple, I am on a journey to share the best parts of myself with the children and people of the UAE, only to return to the states to share new parts of myself with my family, friends and students.

I once heard someone say, "would you rather have experiences or things"? If you asked me at some other time in my life, my answer would have been,"things", but over time, I have realized that experiences last longer than shoes from Macys or a new hair cut from Aveda or even a pricey pair of jeans. Experiences are the threads that help build the tapestry of a life. Therefore, I don't choose to dwell on the things I don't have, but I look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead of me, while being ever so grateful for those that are behind me.

I've Been Bitten

When I was a little girl, I traveled often with my grandparents. I don't remember, but they say my first plane ride was at the age of 2. Grandma and Granddad didn't take me far, but they took me often. Every summer, I had some adventure to look forward to. Most summers we would visit family in nearby Youngstown, Ohio, where both sisters of my grandparent's lived, or, we'd drive a few hours to Rochester, New York to visit my grandmothers' niece and her family. Her children were many years older than I and in fact, two out of the three were well on their way to college by the time we started visiting, but I loved being the youngest or even the only child in the house. It made me feel special.

It was in Rochester that I saw my first deer, standing majestically outside of my cousins' kitchen window. It was in Rochester that I saw the movie, Aliens and ET. It was also just outside of Rochester, where I saw the late Luther Vandross perform in concert. Rochester held dear memories for me, but so did many other places, like Boston.

Boston is the place I enjoyed the most. I loved everything that Boston was and everything that it wasn't. Very unlike my hometown, Cleveland, Boston had diversity, or at least, it appeared that way to my naive eyes. Boston had culture, coupled with old money. It had trolly cars that rode down the middle of the street, with passengers who exited right outside the passenger door of your car. Back then, Boston had ten cent train rides, more seafood than a little girl like me could ever eat and Cape Cod, the place that we visited, which made me fall in love with quaint towns, antique shops and once again, old money.

Most times we would fly to Boston, but one summer, my grandmother and I drove instead. As we drove through China Town, I remember thinking just how amazing it was. There were dried pigs hanging from store windows, street signs written in unfamiliar chinese letters, tons of cars and of course, the obvious, lots of Chinese people! I was blown away by what I saw and I desired to see more. Not just more of Boston, but more of everything that Boston represented to my young eyes at the time; culture, diversity and influence.

Over the course of my childhood and teenage years, I visited over twenty states, as well as Canada. That's a big deal for a young girl who grew up on welfare on the east side of Cleveland, Ohio, with a mother who's never stepped foot on a plane. I loved visiting new places and seeing what they had to offer. I would eventually move to New York City in 1996, fresh out of college and then to Chicago, Illinois in 2004. My love for travel and diversity is owed to my grandparents, who, unbeknownst to them, exposed me to a traveling bug and sent me on a life journey to explore the people, the places and the culture of those very much unlike me and so, as I write this, the next stop on my life map will be, Abu Dhabi to teach English abroad. I don't know what I'll find there, but I'm sure that whatever it is, will give me plenty to write home about.