Do you ever find yourself cruising through life on auto-pilot; making decisions and creating circumstances for yourself, but never really taking the time to reflect on the reasons, the motivation or the aftermath of such actions? Most people journey through life oblivious of the fact that they keep making the same destructive decisions over and over again; oblivious to the fact that the reason why nothing in their life ever changes, is because they are not willing to change and thus, their lives become a vicious cycle of insanity, which is basically, doing the same thing, but expecting a different result.
Just the other day, I was having a conversation with a friend. She was telling me about a gentleman she knows, who's been married a few times and how each time his marriages failed, because as she put it, "he never does anything free and clear." I was puzzled at first and I thought, 'free and clear'? What could that mean? She went on to explain to me that there was always a catch. For instance, he married one woman because she was pregnant, he married another because of the financial security she provided. This man had never had a relationship where there were no strings attached; where he chose based on his own free will to love and marry someone, just because. I thought, how empowering it is for someone to come to that realization, if only, he had been the one to come to that realization.
Can you imagine, how drastically your life could change if you were able to see that ultimately, there's a barrier which prevents you from making decisions based on your own free will and that if you wanted, you could change your life, just by changing how you made decisions. This was indeed, powerful information, but the problem was, this was her observation of him and not his own observation of himself. Therefore, his life would probably never change, because he's on auto-pilot, moving swiftly through life, like so many of us, never taking the time to just process the why, behind the choice, but instead, allowing the choice, to have dominion over him, instead of him having dominion over it.
I thought about my decisions and my own relationships and I must admit, there were a few strings attached, a time or two. There were times when unbeknownst to me, I chose people or circumstances based on a multitude of things that were not in alignment with my truest desires and wouldn't you know, they never worked out!
There are studies to suggest that women think more than men; that we over analyze everything, as I have been accused of doing in the past. However, consider this for a moment. Consider yourself a Fortune 500 company. Every Fortune 500 has regular meetings and check-ins to see what's working, what's not and how to tweak it to maximize the company's output. Aren't you worthy of a few check-ins? Besides, if you're not getting better in life, you're just getting older; nothing's changing, no growth is taking place. You're simply existing.
Why not do more than just exist? Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday and I guarantee, tomorrow will seem like a breeze. Make one major decision with no strings attached and relish in the results. You just might find that your relationships improve, you take more risk and you ultimately enjoy life in a way that you've never experienced it before.
I won't deny, it can sometimes be easier to make a decision when strings are attached, to say to yourself, "I guess I'll marry him because I'm running out of options", but easy isn't always best. Albeit, there are strings attached to some things and there's nothing we can do about it; it just is what it is. However, when given the opportunity, why not cut the strings and experience being truly happy for a change? Make the decision because it's what you want; nothing more, nothing less. You're worth it. Aren't you?
