The Problem With Religion

Now that I have your attention, I want to share with you what I believe to be the problem with religion.    This is not to condemn one group or another.  It is simply to point out the hypocrisy that exist, as  I see it; to shed some light on what I have been experiencing in this Islamic country over the past four months and what I know for sure about Christianity, having been born into, guilted by it and saved literally and figuratively, all in the same breath.  Looking at Christianity and Islam as a basis for this conversation is what I plan to do.  It is not a means to totally demarcate them, because they are more alike, I have found, than they are different.  I hope only to awaken some, to stir up others and to challenge my own ignorance and hypocrisy, along with that of my readers.

For me, I was indoctrinated into Christianity before I could say "mama".  My grandparents were Christians, their parents were Christians, my parents are Christian and all 60 plus of my cousins and extended family are Christian.  Except for maybe, one cousin who converted to Islam when he was in prison.  The truth is, if I have children, I will probably raise them to be Christian.  Not because I believe that it's the best religion on the planet, but because I am ignorant about other religions and Christianity is all I know and therein lies the first problem with religion.  We don't know a thing about the religion of others, yet we condemn them to know end, believing that if we are "right" as we think we are, then everyone else must be wrong.  We don't educate ourselves about the beliefs of others.  Perhaps, we're too afraid that through osmosis, their beliefs will rub off on us.  Or, perhaps too afraid of what we might discover.

The second problem with religion, as I have witnessed here in this Islamic country as well as in my predominantly Christian country, is that far too often, we hide behind religion, instead of standing behind it. What I mean is that we use religion to justify our foul behavior, our mistreatment of others and our intolerance of the world.  Christians believe that they are right and that Muslims are wrong and Muslims believe just the opposite and to that end, we will treat someone poorly based on their views, when we should be leaving the judging to our Creator.

However, here is where I have to agree with the Muslims.  In Islam, they do not date.  They do not believe in sex before marriage and for the most part, I believe that they firmly stand behind that.  The Arabic teachers at my school where I teach, talk to me about their virginity and about the repercussions of having sex before marriage.  They tell me that if a man finds out that they have been with another, they will be out casted; unable to marry and in their eyes, marriage, children and family is one which in which they serve their God.  Here in the UAE, you rarely meet unmarried Muslim women over 30.  Marriage and family is a duty to them.

Now, I'm not agreeing wholeheartedly with this and this goes back to my earlier statement about the guilt that I experienced in Christianity as a confused child growing up.  I was taught to believe that all of my thoughts pertaining to sex were wrong and that I was going to hell if I looked at a boy!  Now, I will admit that I grew up with one foot in the church and one foot out, but nonetheless, I knew other devout Christians who grappled with what it meant to be single in the Christian religion and there are still more women than man in the faith who are unwed, because they're waiting on the "right" Christian man to come along.

Invariably, I have learned that in Islam, they realize that there is lust, wants and desires and so, instead of tempting the flesh, they marry quickly and they typically marry much younger than us Christians.  One problem is that with youth, can come immaturity, but with age can come stubbornness and as we too often see, "baggage".  I know countless unmarried Christian men and women who go to church every Sunday; know every bible verse; contribute tithes and offerings on a weekly basis, but they are still grappling with sex and often times sexuality.  There is indeed a missing link between what we know in Christianity to be true about sex and marriage and what we tend to practice.  

I don't believe that the Muslims are perfect in this regard by no means, but, they seem to have a system in place for how they do what they do.  My question is, where is ours?  And, why are we struggling so ferociously with marriage and intimacy in the "Christian" religion?  I realize that maybe, I am only speaking to Americans and this may or may not apply to Christians in other countries, but all I am saying is that it wouldn't hurt to take a few cues from Islam on this one.  People judge Muslim's way of marrying, but what are we doing that's so much better?  In the African-American community, we have one of the highest rates of single parent households and black women are listed as the least likely to get married of all the people on the planet!

Lastly, I have seen Muslims and Christians alike, treat people like dirt, based on their material possessions.  If you're not Emirate, meaning rich and "affluent" then you're nothing, but it's not just he Emirates, the Egyptians have also shown me parts on them I would have never thought existed.  As well, in the UAE, I have been told of Emirate Muslims who beat their maids to  "break them in" and let them know who's boss.  I have nearly been run off the road by Emirate people driving like maniacs and upset that I won't move to the next lane when they're doing 90 and flashing their head lights on me to get over.  I have seen Muslim people abuse and batter their children in public, because their are no child abuse laws and I have watched Muslim men partake in alcohol and prostitution in a country that would stick me under the jail if I did the same.

There is hypocrisy everywhere and no, Muslims are not perfect, but neither are Christians.  However, hopefully, one day we will all start to realize how we are more alike than we are different.  Perhaps, that's the idealist in me and God knows I am working daily to understand my Arab sisters and brothers, whose faults often times override all of the so called "religion" I was told they had, upon coming to this country.  I am working hard not to judge them so harshly and to recognize that the same imperfect blood that runs through my veins, also runs through theirs.  Neither of us are perfect.  In fact, we're perfectly, imperfect.

"There's so much good in the worst of us 

And so much bad in the best of us 

That it ill behooves all of us 

To find anything wrong with the rest of us."

-author unknown 

Until Next Time...

Peace and Blessings,

Terre